It was one of those cold autumn afternoons some weeks ago. We were sitting around an open fire; book in hand, lost in the narrative: Sounds fabulous, doesn’t it? Yeah, sounds fabulous, feels: bloomin’ freezin’! Yep, we’d turned off the heating to save money and here we were sitting outside burning wood and paper!
As I was about to open my mouth to say, “y’know we could just go indoors, turn the heating on and read in there,” I see Suravi gazing into the flames, her eyes lit up with wonder, full of joy, and I just knew it would break her heart. So, I picked up our makeshift poker, teased the rolled up paper and logs (thank you, Aldi), and enjoyed the sparks.
It’s a funny thing, really. Anybody who knows us knows that I’m the sentimental, romantic one; I like things that makes life beautiful, and Suravi prefers efficiency and utility. Yet there we were sitting outside, when we had a perfectly good house with a working boiler that we only sparingly swich on [brrrr]. Not very efficient, or utilitarian is it?
Of course, it was only when I looked at her I realised (d’uh!), it was not about getting warm (obviously), nor simply about reading; it was the whole experience with me by her side. I could’ve gone inside, leaving Suravi to enjoy her book and fire of course. But, it’s being in my company that was central to so many of her experiences, which always blows my mind.
We both love sitting in our little garden, or picking up a book to read; and we both love our budget day, (oh yes we do!). Of course, we also differ in some ways. I guess we’re similar and different in equal portions. But there is never a moment of derision of the other’s pursuits and interests, nor mere toleration. Suravi will often say to me how she loves to see my eyes brighten when I do something I love (the romantic and sentimental stuff, of course), even though it rarely makes sense to her. I know exactly what she means.
Y’know after a decade of marriage, I’ve come to realise that beyond wedding vows, it’s those little things we do for each other (even when you aren’t sure why it’s so important to the other person, just that it is) is what contributes to the conviction, “we’ll be there for each other, no matter what”. And that’ll keep me warm…
John
P.S. Just so you know, I blog regular as clockwork, albeit not in this dimension.
The Chatterjee-Woolmans 